Your one stop harbour.

2010-05-12T13:15:00.002+08:00

A mundane wednesday afternoon.
After much perserverance i finally remembered the password to my account! I'm at my secret chamber once again. life at discovery kidz is real good. im enjoying every moment of it! will start blogging from now on. STAY TUNED!

2009-09-26T11:20:00.003+08:00

It's been quite a long time since i last blogged . Quite sad to know that only when im sick then i'll have time to blog .

Holidays now so working full time at cherie hearts (: It can be quite tiring which explains my health and this stupid sickness made me miss the excursion with the kids to Jacob Ballas and my dance class ): Really hope that i'll get well soon cos i don't want to be bedridden for too long. Doctor told me not to move around and the best is to stay in bed all the time. If i must walk then i have to move real SLOWLY. He said some ppl recover in 1 or 2 days , others may recover in 1 or 2 weeks . I can't afford to be ill for 1 to 2 weeks ! darling came to look after me and accompanied me to the doc yesterday (: thank god he was here otherwise i might have already fainted and nobody knows. he on some wierd funny videos to cheer me up and bought porridge for me thou i totally had no appetite to eat i appreciate his effort.

Many things happened in the month of sept. Celebrated teachers' day and Hari Raya , got my results, celebrated our 3rd yr anniversary (: all went smoothly. As for oct, will be celebrating children's day, having dinner with darling's school friends and going ion with my collegues again! Still thinking of what to get for the children and i'm also kinda nervous about meeting his school friends cos they're all younger than me and i know it's hard for ppl to accept we this kinda relationship but darling kept reassuring me that his friends are alright with it one.hmm..we'll see how it goes.

2009-08-11T21:52:00.003+08:00

Guess I just like to act tough. Im sick but i just don't like to show or mention it. Some might want to let everyone know maybe cos they want to gain attention and everyone's concern? I find that's pathetic. Or maybe that's wad a girl should behave? well then, maybe I'm not a girl. Exams comin' soon and I nid to mug real hard.

Dear helped to move house and mom insisted to give him an ang bao then dear insisted on buying food back for my mom when we went ehub. Im so stucked in between. He rmbed tht mom said she likes korean food, so we decided to go to the food court at ehub to get my parents some korean food since tht's the only place that sells korean food at ehub. We had korean food as well. He found it insufficient, went to buy desserts from a thai restaurant, bought chocolate and drinks. Dad & Mom were quite satisfied with him which leaves me satisfied as well (: win-win situation. We've come so far from lotsa objections till now it gets much better just tells me that i realli have to treasure this affinity.

Chloe is so cute. I tried to make her sleep but she just dowan ! I was very tired tht time so i told her you can sleep dowan sleep i want to sleep cannot sleep i'll slp on ur bed larh ! then when i lied down she took her blanket and cover my body for me xD 100% cuteness.

2009-08-10T03:10:00.002+08:00

It's 3 AM in the morning and im bloggin' bout things which happened for the past 1 week or so? Finally shifted everythin' into my new house. so tiring!!!!!!!!! well at least i did my best, unlike others who are obviously not puttin' in their 100%. so many things happened and when it happens i kept reminding myself to blog about it then the next moment i've forgotten all bout it. hmm, I've signed up for dance classes already. commence nxt sat (: Perhaps i'm too tired that my mind & brain isn't functioning well anymore. Have no idea wad to blog about. Will update when i rmb (:

2009-07-27T10:23:00.002+08:00

7 year old child

3 years old toddler.

Our 9 months old baby.

Used darling's and my face to morph (: I used different photos of ours but I realise the three pictures are like the same person growing up..

2009-07-27T10:00:00.003+08:00

Using lappie in school now. Been quite some time since i last blogged cos of the hectic schedule i have ): I'll start with work. We played this Angel & Mortal game and I guessed my angel correctly (: I knew it's Ms Helen cos i always receive my presents in the afternoon. The children are so adorable sometimes I feel like squeezing them tightly! Hahas (: Recently the kids have some flu virus spreading among em. One after another vomited and I dislike cleaning up vomits cos of the smell ): It's always sad to see the kids get sick. I want em to be well and happy. Nothin' much happen in school, everythin' as usual except that I have to really speed up on doin' my project!! Celebrated serene's birthday yesterday. Went singing at noon and Jusacia at night. Darling had a small cut on his leg and it started bleeding profusely. Serene and apple freaked out totally. It's rather scary when i think about it again but i had no time to hesitate I just went straight to him. Was uploading photos of the SZ.HK trip on facebook and all the memories come back. I still remember Mr Eddie Tan my sec 2 science teacher and my CCA teacher as well was so proud of joanna & me ! He announced our names over the PA system cos it was a rainy day that day. Thank god it was a rainy day otherwise the whole school will be looking at us and I know he'll definitely ask us to stand up ! Thanks to the mayor also who sponsored our trip (: hehes ! Free things shirley wun say no to it but that was based on our own hardwork ok!

2009-07-18T00:28:00.004+08:00

My CherieHearts babies (:

2009-07-17T00:46:00.002+08:00

2009-07-11T00:08:00.004+08:00

Finally can get a good rest over the weekends. Was busy with school and preparing the curriculum for the kids. Just painting a few pages took me bout 2,3 hours? I really learn alot being a childcare teacher and there's many amazing facts that I can learn so that if i face similar situation in future i'll know how to cope with it. I'm lovin' it and don't intend to change anymore but salary-wise might make me reevaluate if interest really beats reality. Unless, next time my hubby gimme lotsa money that's a different thing ;) sighs. But still, I'll want to earn my own money to buy the things i like. that would mean somethin' to me. Can't keep relying on him (:

Gwyneth's daddy kept thanking me for teaching the daughter till she keeps getting full marks for her spelling. I told her dad that's it's the effort she put in as well. Even so, I still feel a great sense of achievement. It feels so good being a teacher ! Matthias seem to like Chloe. He attempted to kiss her but Chloe rejected him. hahas!

Recently my duty is making milk, much easier than bathing em or preparing mattress but I's starting to miss bathing the children. sighs. Human nature-never satisfied.

2009-07-07T22:33:00.003+08:00

went for hanteck's bday chalet (: wanted to take this opportunity to have a great night out with darlin' but i ended up gettin' myself all tire out and wasn't in the mood anymore. maybe im too use to sleeping early and waking up early recently. watched transformers with darling (: superb movie with great sound effects and graphics but was abit too lengthy.

Poor Eugene ): He got high fever from the trauma he had when his parents brought him to watch a pirate show cos he kept screaming and crying. Cleo is sick ): but Chloe is back !! My dearest baby ! She has become more clingy to me.That's not wad we want for our children. They have to be independent but we still have to let em feel the love we have for them.

Such a tiring day today cos i teach tuition at night, teach at montessori sch at noon and went to school in the morning .. but after everythin' met joanna to cele her b'day. treated her to pizza hut and told her alot bout my inner thots. She's the best friend and listener i'll ever have (: there's this mango shorts that i want to buy ! but it's ex ): still considering ! was talking to darling bout engagement and marriage.. we've got our own plans already now it's the time to work hard first ! Hopefully everythin' will turn out to be fine.

2009-06-30T00:19:00.003+08:00

Though im too busy to blog, I still wish to keep a record on what happened in my life so that the absent minded shirley can recall some of her memories (:

Things happened with family :
Went Genting for a short getaway! Had lotsa fun thou its just a day and a half..Its a pity that sarah got sick suddenly. Luckily its nothin' serious. Chose floor tiles for new home (:

Things happened in Cherie Hearts :
Eugene and Chloe has grown attached to me. Once i leave they'll start crying ): melts my heart totally. Darius still can't seem to chew properly. He has to be fed and press his cheeks gently to make him chew. I dont like it when Elroy follows whatever Aaron is doin ! He's not following the good example. Like what Miss Jun said, Aaron really spoils the market and we've tried both the hard and soft approach but it doesn't work at all. Claire and Cleo still not back yet ): Miss having the twins in class. Both had fever ): The no. of children is declining cos they're gettin' sick one by one. I pity Joel the most. His testis got somethin' wrong and when i bathe him,change his pampers or make him sleep i have to be extra gentle with him cos just press a lil he'll scream and cry but the thing is we can't blame him cos he's crying for a reason. My heart breaks when i see em in pain ! I put medicine for him I'll also be extra gentle. *Sighs* I can never let KaiXu stop moving for a sec! He's hyperactive. When i take off his diapers he sat on me when he got shit on his backside !!! I need to wash up my pants and change to the one aunty lent me. Speaking of that, I bought somethin' from m'sia for the aunty cos she's very nice to me ! Always gimme extra food.

Things happened with darling :
Seems like recently I've not been contributing to our relationship ): I din go support darling during his semi finals but he still got into finals!!! It's been long since i made somethin for him but he gave me a container of pasta he made as a surprise for me. I just heard from wm that darling spent almost all his money on the present he gave me. Feel so guilty ! Also, b'cos of me he's watching Boys before Flowers diligently now. He's also trying hard to get good results so that I'll not suffer if im with him in future. He did his very best to please me but seems like i'm taking advantage of it already. I'll have to remind myself to treat him better. We both shared a tub of ice-cream the other day. romantic right xD

Things happened with Joanna :
Joanna's back from melacca ! She bought an earring for me I also bought her MNG shirt as b'day prezzie (: Went to eat BBQ chix with her and I didn't expect myself to be full cos their serving is usually small but that's not the case when i went with her. She accompanied me to see doc and I accompanied her to Robinsons Sales (: I went to the express lane at the Polyclinic cos they thought I've got H1N1 in the end the results were negative.. Went Robinsons sale and bought some accessories no apparels at all ): Wait till i get my pay, things will be different ;)

Other things :
I must remind myself to go get a litterpan for my beloved Clairebaby. Went to watch movie with Serene,Darling,Jonia,Wei Min,Jian Hunt. Wanted to watch transformers but ended up watching I love you man (: Nice movie thou.It's hilarious. Meeting Linglin on thurs night (:

Manyphotos lazy to update, will update real soon.

2009-06-19T22:29:00.002+08:00

Chloe is a new girl. She'll cry and say "mummy come mummy come". So difficult to make her smile but i managed alas! hehes ! How i wish my daughter will be like her next time.. that's provided if i'll have a daughter *pray god* Her mom buys Zara,Gap and Fox clothes for her .. She's like a branded baby. I understand why her mom did that. I will do the same for my kids as well provided I've money (: Recently, I've been helping kids wear diapers at least 10 times a day..Bathe at least 10 children per day by the time i become a mum I'll be pro in it already. What's best is the fulfilment i find when the children smile and are happy. The time passes so quickly and I'll still want to go the following day even though i have to wake up early unlike any other jobs.

Darling is back (: He gave me a box of surprises hahas. He placed a card in it, what's written in it is a secret thou my whole family read it already =.= Gave me a dress from Bum Equipment , pour lots of sweets inside,a box of chewing gum,a heart-shaped lollipop and a heart-shaped necklace (: What's really sweet is the card and also finding my favourite sweets before putting in.

2009-06-16T19:38:00.007+08:00

Claire just cut her hair today !

Maris the doctor!

QiuYun. The girl who has the same zodiac and same birthday as darling. Very cool, obedient and sometimes can be stubborn.

Cleo & Claire aka JieJieMeiMei. I finally can differentiate !

Salad making time (:

Eugene the foodguy.

Joel the emokid.

I'm happiest when the children sleep cos it means lunchtime for me xD

Elina the crybaby.

Donuts from J.CO i bought for my family.

darling went genting ): miss him so much!

There's more to come, this is only the beginning.

after cutting and washing at saloon

twins banana.

Notice it's smaller!? Darling took this with his phone.

Haris the intelligent

Zi Qin.

Krystal (:

Kar Ling the hyperactive.

2009-06-13T19:47:00.005+08:00

I've been pretty lucky recently.
I got my dream job and my collegues are great people.
I bought a scratch card and won $5 dollars =P
went to sing k and after 1&ahalf hours their server down..
they treated us to mac and let us sing till at night when we were suppose to sing from 12 to 3.
Was i lucky or unlucky!?
I dowan to elaborate too much bout wad's happening recently cos there's too much going on.
Will just write in point form. (:
-Managed to catch 4 movies though I've got quite a tight schedule.
[ Night at the museum 2,Angels and Demons, Monsters vs aliens,Ghosts of girlfriends' past]
-Switched job from a pri after-school care centre to a montessori school cos I want a full time job. Even so, I'll miss my students very much. They even called me to go back to visit them. My previous superior also told me that this montessori school is quite reputable and I'll hve good prospects working with em (: Started teaching yesterday and it was very fun,exciting and meaningful! Realised that twins they do have some kinda telepathy going on between them. I have this pair of twins Cleo & Claire. When reading stories to em, they both came running up and cried when other children were perfectly alright. When asked, they say they heard thunder when there's none at all. I noticed while they were drawing a card for birthday boy George they both picked the same colour combination for their cards when they were seated at different tables.It's just so strange. btw, George is an ang moh and he kept saying "coconut" and we've also got a Korean girl in my class. Matthias is a boy who can be quite clingy to teachers. Maris and Shanis are the more cheerful girls in my class (: oh wells, i wanted to just write in point form but when it comes to my students i just can't help it but get excited ! They're so adorable =D
- I can't believe i spent almost a hundred at ECP mainly on arcade ! All b'cos of Sarah and Jordan! We kept trying to "diao(di si sheng)" the sweets and toys and at the end of the day each of us got 3 toys ! wee~! Brought Claire go to the beach to swim ! She's so afraid to get into the sea when she's actually a pretty good swimmer at the swimming pool ):
-Went to help out to paint at darling's house ! So fun !I've always wanted to paint ! It's quite embarrassing when his xiao yi kept teasing bout our relationship. I'll shy one ok !
-Baked cookies at Joanna's house the other day. First batch was a failure ! The recipe says to put baking soda and it taste like shit. Second batch we tried Baking powder and it works ! yayness ! Made a heart shaped cookie for darling (: gave some to his family and a bigger packet to my family. They said it's too sweet :(
Bought Serene's b'day prezzie alrdy and i brought her there and she chose it herself ! I do not have such a bad taste :p
Still got Father's Day,Joanna and Jordan's b'day prezzie. I currently finding ideas for darling's b'day and our 3rd year anniversary also (:
Many photos and videos but damn lazy to load ! Will load some other day ;)

2009-06-05T23:07:00.001+08:00

I dont want to post this.

I wish to stop blogging, as i already have. the frequency is lesser.

But other than God, this is the only place i can settle my emotions in- my thoughts, my feelings, my struggles- there's no one else to talk to. Or rather no one i can open my heart to. Perhaps, not even you.

There lies the irony- the publicity of a blog, and the secrecy of my thoughts.

And this is where i realise how solitudinous i am. People- they're all around me. Friends- they're great company, but the baring of heart and soul- Sorry, i cant do it. Even as of now as i hear the incessant sounds of the keyboard around me in this computer hub, the soft humming of the antiquated air condition- i feel all alone.

2009-05-31T00:04:00.008+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY !

finally my blog is fixed cos of serene (:
and i must say it cos serene told me to mention =P
didn't update for quite some time cos of the havoc blog
even so, i also don't really have much to say.
life has been pretty routine recently.

teaching is never better.
teacher Mala gave me a strawberry cake !
and the students are starting to listen to me.
initially, they thought that i can be taken advantage,
but now they've come to realization that i'm no pushover (:
i finally have some discipline in class.

darling gave up football on fri and we went for movie + seoul garden (:
wanted to go vivo or tampines but ended up at marina square.
finally someone realise that we've got the couple look.
that's bcos we don't usually do what other couples do when we're in the public.
the guy at the box office offered us couple seats cos it's limited..
it's those kind that can seat two person and without the "thing" in the middle.
so that couples can.. you know what ;)

went out with joanna,shini & anuja on thurs.
celebrated anuja's b'day. board-gaming and food.
i just had a plate of roasted duck salad.
by the way, i'm on a diet currently.
exercise and eat healthily is my motto.
i'll nvr totally not eat.
i eat two types of fruit and drink orange juice on a daily basis.
Eat more vegetables and only lean meat,chicken breast and fish.
Been trying to control my diet really hard.
That's bcos i was a huge eater last time.
Hopefully will be 55kg end of June.
Now i'm 61 *sobs*

2009-05-19T22:15:00.002+08:00

Elton kissed my cheek and told me "teacher i want marry you".
hahas (: cute but i dunno how to answer him =X
i only wanna marry dear dear.
Marked their science paper and ......
Shamir wrote roasted duck under the living things category !!!
argh !!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm such a failure ):
but at least the rest did this question correctly.

2009-05-09T20:31:00.003+08:00

Utterly disappointed in you.
Said you were the best fren,
i ever had over there. (other than dear xD )
Never said a single bad thing
bout you behind your back.
You rather believe her not me.
the long hour chats we had,
the singing sessions we had.
all thrown outta the window.
thanks for the memories,
goodbye my friend.
still very disappointed.

*emo-ing now*

2009-05-09T07:40:00.000+08:00

And i dont know you anymore, or perhaps i never did, before.

2009-05-07T07:54:00.005+08:00

First day of teaching was hell.Teaching a whole class and giving one-to-one tuition is a huge difference.I can't seem to control the class ):There were 10 boys and 2 girls.The boys kept playing and running around.I can't quit. This is what i gonna do for the rest of my life. If i face such a small setback and say i wanna quit then i'm really not fit to be a teacher.

Second Day it slowly gets better (: There's this group of boys which is more obedient so i went through the papers with them while the rest were playing at the back of the class. [Bryan,Haziq,Herman,Jared] The hyperactive group is [Justin,Axel,Shamir(I call them the 3 Musketeers) plus the guy who stands alone [Douglas] . He always kena bullied by the 3 musketeers but also fights back..so back to square one. The intelligent group [Chee Hao,Haris]. Haris caught my attention on the first day. Marked his science paper and he got 82/100 a really smart boy and got lots of general knowledge. The girls [Zi Qin,Jia Ling]. I still prefer girls =P OKAY! I shan't be a bias teacher.

There's this boy called Elton from the P1 class.
He came to me and shouted " Teacher, you're the new teacher right"
Me : "Yes".
Elton : "Teacher What's you name?"
Me : "Shirley".
Elton : "Teacher Shirley, I love you." [gave me a hug]
Me : *smiles* " Oh you're such a sweet boy"
Next minute, He dragged me around to play with him.
And I can't cos i've to return to my class to teach.
Me : "Elton, If you keep pulling me around i don't love you anymore ar.."
Elton : " No teacher! I love you teacher."
Me : "Ok Then you let me go, I have to go back to class already."
And he finally lets go (:
cuteness !!!

That day while i was at the bus-stop..
There's 3 maha bodhi students.
A : I'm the United States president !
B : You're not Barack Obama.
C : You're Barack Osama.
B : I'm Obama's son.
A : You're Obama's maid la..
And the converation goes on.

Kids nowadays are so smart (:
Hopefully my children will be the same.

I don't know who i can trust nowadays, it seems like many backstabbed me. I've got evidences for some of those who've betrayed me but didn't want to take em out. Cos it might cause the two parties to quarrel. If they don't push too far, I won't bother with them anymore. Cos they're not worth me wasting my time on them.

2009-04-29T22:09:00.002+08:00

Hello world. Pardon my disappearance for a week.

Blogging was never an obligation for me, and i say that with apologies, for i doubt it'll ever be. Maybe it should (though i don't see how), but perhaps in knowing my posts live on a certain something for its existence, would aptly explain the lack in its frequency- 'inspiration', they call it.

2009-04-22T20:07:00.004+08:00

grandma's birthday (:

ever since the boat ride from labuan to kota kinabalu

i've been feeling nausea. whichever transportation i take,i'll feel dizzy.

To minimize the dizziness, i took cab to and fro from sch.

cost me a bomb ): i am still feeling very sick.

whatever i take in i just feel like vomiting everything out.

feel like sleeping all day long and dun wake up !

2009-04-11T18:42:00.003+08:00

Brought Michelle and Uncle Simon to raffles campus to walk around cos she might be studying in S'pore (: After that went to Bugis Junction then sent em to the airport. Woke up at 7 in the mornx *sobs* damn tired now but i just dun have the habit to sleep at noon. Went outside damai sec at noon, pass the milo i "pao" to darling to give him energy for his match ;) i'm going to be guaigia from mon onwards !! study everyday (: it's not as if i not guai last time but just tht i wanna be super guai as in those who'll study consistently everyday.. not like last time always skip class go shop & play then last min study but manage to pass borderline ): i even did tht for o levels! now i wanna TRY get all As for all my modules for sem 4 & 5 before i graduate at least my cert is more pleasant looking xD now on the average think is B- lorhs ...dun even know if i can get into the UOL degree course =X

2009-04-09T19:26:00.005+08:00

i've got issues
one fine day, while i was talking on the phone with darling..
asking him to go shopping with me to buy clothes or accessories for my grandma's b'day.
serene suddenly mentioned that i've got so many clothes tht my wardrobe is bursting,
maybe i should put a stop to the shopping spree.. so we decided to make a bet.
serene guess i've got 300 items, dear guessed 150.
[counted everything except scarves,belts,hats,shawls,watches,make up,
bandanas,swimming costumes,shades,lingeries,jewellery,shoes,bags,perfumes]
it was 188 excluding another box in the storeroom.
woah~! maybe i should realli stop ):
i'm wearing a dress and necklace from dorothy perkins for my grandma's b'day!!
still looking for a nice pair of shoes to go with it !!!!! opps xD didn't i just say i want to stop?

library fines is another issue tht's worrisome in my life..
i can't help it but to keep contributing money to the library.
i owe the library bout 14 dollars under my card,
i paid with my cashcard when i went library with joanna recently.
karhin's card is still debited with $2.50 fine ):
cos i borrowed books using his card xD

2009-04-05T23:07:00.007+08:00

met up with joanna and her classmates
initially wanted to go register for basic theory with serene & jonia
but joanna told me they wanted me to go.
cos justin james was my pri sch classmate;
and i sorta knew some of em already..
in the end i went.
the 7 of us [joanna,anuja,swash,justin james,justin ng,eugene & i]
went to the new shopping mall at bugis to watch confessions of e shopaholic.
afterwhich went to shop arnd at bugis junction..
i sorta pity the guys;
they've to wait outside every shop tht we went in for bout 5-10mins.
joanna is lending me the twilight book!
after i finish reading will borrow the 2nd then 3rd then 4th !!!
cos a bookwork like her went to buy the whole series :p
yayness (:

2009-04-01T18:55:00.004+08:00

clairebaby went grooming today !
omg! she's a pure white schnauzer!
1st day at school ~ not bad.
feel like sleepin' in class ):
too tired i guess.
will upload photos soon !

2009-03-31T09:38:00.004+08:00

My family planned a surprise party for me,
but i sorta knew already.
cos serene kept calling me at noon,
asked if i'm going home in the evening or not.
plus my family always celebrate everyone's b'day.
i sorta knew they'll not miss out mine.
this year was quieter unlike the previous 18 years.
with all the parties and stuffs..
ate the egg n "mian xian".
darling came over to watch the videos with me (:
& mom cut a slice of my b'day cake for him..
plus the seaweed chix and nuggets
hehes (: was a happy happy day!
it was how i wanted my b'day to be.

2009-03-30T13:03:00.002+08:00

celebrated with darling yesterday.
he really brightened up my day (:
after a series of horrendous events
happened to me just within a few days.
glad to know that he's by my side.
as usual, joanna is the first to wish me.
tht's why i'll always love her forever !
maybe going isetan sales with her on thurs =P
thanks to those who wished me as well !
slept at 2 plus last night when i havta wake up at 7 in the mornx..
cos of serene n sarah keep crapping with me larh !
wad tsunade's father is tsunami,
orochimaru like tsunade but tsunade like jiraiya =.=
then we drew lots to see who's getting a room of her own.

2009-03-30T13:01:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !!

2009-03-26T09:40:00.004+08:00

Claire baby finally learn how to paw today (:
After i spent 1 hour plus teaching her..
*so happy*

just started my first lesson with a K2 girl Gwyneth (:
She's so cute !!!!!!!!!!! But quiet ): But when i start drawing she'll keep laughing xD

am so pissed off by those non supportive
and non understanding frens downstairs!!
so ungentlemanly to bully a girl !!
So god damn pissed !!!!!! argh !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently no one downstairs are in a BGR now or are in a tough relationship that's looked down on or facing objections. Not mentioning people trying to break us up in the dark. No one will admit.Who but themselves know wad exactly is in their hearts. Just bring it on, our love is strong and will not waver by anyone's comments or words.

NO ONE will be able 2 understand how we feel or the pressure agree? As for the friends part, you may feel everyone is worth making frens with and be as diplomatic as possible.In most things i'm opposite of u.. I know who i can make frens with and who i can't (: I wanna build truthful relationships and hate bein a faker.It's not as if i didn't try to make frens with certain ppl, you know wad the responses were and i wun make frens for the sake of having more frens. True fren one is enough but of cos more true frens the better. The frens part dun keep persuading me anymore please? I'll really be true to those who're true to me too and stay away from those fakers..Those who hate me don't havta stay away from karhin if you all dowan to make life difficult for him. Wait till u guys hav a gf and we'll see how u juggle both. Don't say too early tht you'll manage ur gf well wadsoever..I alwaz believe in karma ;)i alrdy heard some1 downstairs say b4 "dang ran shi pei nu peng you la ! " you know who u r (: Karhin really cherish you guys' friendship so much tht sometimes i wonder is it worth it anot? He's using a pure heart to make frens n yet i can feel and see SOME hypocrites. sometimes tis issue also caused us to quarrel several times bcos of y'all indirectly(not blaming any1).Think we do not hav probs? Dun see y all our other frens don't bring us such prob other than downstairs ppl. And for tht, still lookin' 4 solutions .

After all that happened i realised one thing : A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are. God is nice to me. Gave me a few groups of frens whom i'll love forever (:

I can't satisfy everyone's needs or please everyone right dear? I'm not perfect. It's only the imperfections that make us unique (:

2009-03-24T09:08:00.003+08:00

What i did.

and it hurts me more than you'll ever know.

im sorry. i didn't mean for it t be this way.

2009-03-22T10:48:00.004+08:00

my blog turned "private" bcos of someone getting me flamed alive.
i thot of locking it for only good friends to read which i'm doin now..
but now i think by doing it,others might thought i had something to hide or worse or that the rumours were true. i was initially worried about what people would think of me after reading what she's got to say, but if they want to believe her there's nothing i can do. I've got my family and i've got good friends who stood by me. That's enough for me.I think i realli have to be strong in face of such arguments. Know who i am and don't think so much about it. Afterall she's not close to me, why should i bother about what she says?
my blog will officially turn public on 22nd March 2009. Claire's 4th month today (:

2009-03-21T00:09:00.004+08:00

Can we go to the zoo today !

our long awaited outing to the zoo.
serene,kar hin and me (:
we were so fascinated by the baboons.
serene darn farni !
barked like a dog in KFC
without noticing tht everyone was staring at her...
kh & i queued 45mins b4 it's our turn to buy food ):
but we're still lovin it!
the zoo, a place to rekindle our childhood memories.

2009-03-18T00:09:00.000+08:00

You Make a Great First Impression

You can handle almost any social situation with grace, even the tricky ones.

Strangers often find you charming and interesting. You are often remembered fondly.

Even if you're not naturally outgoing, you can make conversation with anyone if you need to.

Whether you were born this way or had to work to get here, you are definitely charismatic.

You're popular and well liked. People definitely look forward to being around you.

Your social connections bring you a full and rich life. You understand how important it is to make a lasting impression.

What Kind of First Impression Do You Make?

2009-03-18T00:08:00.000+08:00

It's Easy For You to Fall in Love

Looking back on your life, you will have many true loves.

You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?

It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off.

In fights, you speak your mind and don't hold back. You know you're right, and you can get quite angry about it.

Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

2009-03-18T00:05:00.002+08:00

You Are A Thoughtful Idealist

You are scared of new experiences. It's hard for you to break outside of your comfort zone.

You like to think that people are impressed by you. You know that you have a lot to offer.

You are a very romantic person. You can't help but see the world as it should be.

Right now, you feel like the whole world is open to you. You see lots of possibilities.

Overall, your life is well managed and fulfilling. You enjoy every day, even if nothing out of the ordinary happens.

You are extremely optimistic about the future. You feel like things are always getting better.

The Castle Personality Test

2009-03-18T00:03:00.001+08:00

You Belong in Amsterdam

A little old fashioned, a little modern - you're the best of both worlds. And so is Amsterdam.

Whether you want to be a squatter graffiti artist or a great novelist, Amsterdam has all that you want in Europe (in one small city).

What European City Do You Belong In?

2009-03-18T00:00:00.000+08:00

You Act Like You Are 14 Years Old

You are a teenager at heart. You don't quite feel like a grown up yet, but you don't feel like a kid.

You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

You're quite rebellious, and you don't like being told what to do. You like to do things your way.

You have your own unique style, taste in music, and outlook on life.

What Age Do You Act?

2009-03-17T23:52:00.001+08:00

You Are the Sacral Chakra

You are open hearted and expressive. You let your feelings be known, without being too emotional about it.

You are very sensual and comfortable with your own sexuality. You are passionate and alive.

You feel inspired, happy, and creative. You are able to live the life you want without fear of judgement.

You have a lot of respect for yourself and other people. You never violate others' boundaries or let them violate yours.

What Chakra Are You?

2009-03-17T23:44:00.002+08:00

You Are a Little Negative...

You can be negative from time to time, but you rarely go overboard.

You have a realistic view of the world, and most people appreciate your honest insights.

Like everyone else, you have your darker moods.

But when you're feeling super negative, you keep your feelings to yourself.

Are You Too Negative?

2009-03-17T23:41:00.001+08:00

Your Reputation Is: Sweet Girl

While you're well known, there's nothing to worry about.

You're reputation is mostly good - as good as any rep can be.

Do You Have A Bad Girl Reputation?

2009-03-17T23:36:00.001+08:00

Your Mouth is a Little Big

You're not a total tell all, but you don't hide who you are either.

You've struck a good balance between discretion and sharing.

People know you fairly well, at least on a superficial level.

But you save your most revealing secrets for your best friend... or no one!

Do You Have a Big Mouth?

2009-03-17T23:24:00.001+08:00

You Are Gymnastics

You are agile, expressive, and precise.

You have the drive to practice until you get something perfectly right.

And you have the confidence to perform difficult moves when under pressure.

What Olympic Sport Are You?

2009-03-17T23:21:00.004+08:00

Your Mind is Purple

Of all the mind types, yours is the most idealistic.

You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense.

Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

What Color Is Your Mind?

2009-03-17T23:17:00.001+08:00

You Are Wine

You are very naturally sexy and inviting. You don't have to try too hard.
The longer people spend time with you, the more drawn in they become.

You believe that seduction shouldn't be rushed, you like to savor every moment.
Going too fast kills the excitement. You like to indulge all of your senses.

http://www.blogthings.com/whataphrodisiacareyouquiz/">What Aphrodisiac Are You?

2009-03-17T21:39:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to think there's different kinda pressures. I guess when you expect alot out of yourself, it gets really disappointing when they don't work out. And here, I just am.

2009-03-12T13:29:00.003+08:00

received an early b'day prezzie (:
alluring eyes contact lens from jonia & serene.
and also 6 packs of dogfood from daddy..
i requested for it.. so i can save bout $100+ on the dog food !
yayness !
i'm still gonna quietly celebrate my b'day with the ones i love.
not gonna make it a big thing. nvr like tht kinda attention.

2009-03-11T08:23:00.001+08:00

"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages."-William Shakespeare

i wish i were a psychologist-i'd be able to read your mind, to implore the thoughts within that skull, to know, what exactly could you be thinking.

i wish i were a cardiologist-i'd be able to open your heart, and maybe find out the place i stand, within that meagre size of a fist.

i wish i were a magician-i'd be able to conjure spells, and infuse them inside your thoughts.

i wish i were god-i'd be able to create miracles and maybe in all my glory (amen), i could change everything.

i wish for all these, and so much more.
but alas, im nothing, nothing i ask for.

2009-03-10T22:02:00.000+08:00

i think that's the one good thing about having a 'private' blog.
i can blog feeling less restricted as i often do when it's a sensitive issue.

2009-03-09T23:52:00.005+08:00

what's inside is for my pleasure only (:
joanna's handmade peg.

been receiving presents for nothing (:
as mentioned in my previous post..
the pink box with jewellery inside is from my niece.
all i can say is she's got great taste & she's only 10 yrs old!
gotta get her something when i go back labuan for grandma's b'day.
as for the card & peg .......
is my dearest fren joanna's super belated v'day prezzie for me xD
felt guilty so today's dinner was on me !
we went pastamania,
then watched slumdog millionaire.
now i understand why it won so many oscar awards.
no cliche bollywood's coconut tree dance :P
a very well structured and touching movie.

darling scored 7 goals in 5 games (:
thou they didn't get into the finals..
but they were the top 16 outta 64 teams..
and the NTU guys are all so bigsized.....
i'm really proud of em !
they'll always be champions in my heart.

2009-03-07T20:33:00.002+08:00

exams finally over !!!!!
mum's home (:
and she brought home a gift tht malanie wants her to pass to me.
it's a matching set of necklace & earrings.
so stressful these few days ..
cos of exams and stuff.
but now i'm back for more fun (:
unexpectedly,
downstairs ppl made it to the second round at the NTU soccer match.
darling scored 3 goals out of the 4 goals they scored (: yayness!

2009-03-03T22:03:00.000+08:00

Oh, how i just LOVE contemporary routines of salsa & waltz. The oh-so-sweet and touching routines.
Hahahah. Awwwwww xD
Could we be this way too?
Just like a fairytale happily ever after? (:

2009-03-02T09:46:00.002+08:00

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

2009-03-01T23:24:00.009+08:00

went out with my siblings to changi airport yesterday.

suppose to be study time. turns out to be dining + shopping + playing time.

jordan even suggested we buy a roulette..wth!!??

okays,

initially we wanted to go popeye's.

too crowded.

then wanted to go crystal jade.

thot it wuld be too ex.

wanted to go fish & co.

but lazy to go from terminal 3 to 2.

so we went to lerk thai.

it turned out food was alright.

price was not right.

cos the food is not worth the price.

$85 bucks for 4 ppl.

after tht when we walked around,

it chanced on me to go check out crystal jade's menu.

turned out that a 6 course meal for 4 with shark's fin soup is only $87++

so worth it.

so we decided the following weekends go crystal jade or tiantianhuoguo to eat.

brought claire down to 130 this morning.

found out that she's realli photogenic !

the above photos are proof (:

2009-02-27T08:14:00.006+08:00

Friends

Many people walk in and out of your life,but only the true ones will leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.

Anger is merely one letter short of danger
If someone betrays you once, it's his fault;
If someone betrays you twice, it's yours.

The great mind discuss ideas;
The average mind discuss events;
The little mind discuss people.

He, who loses money, loses much.
He, who loses a friend, loses much more.
And He, who loses faith, loses all.

There are millions of beautiful young people,
each of them, accidents of nature;
but beautiful old people, past mere superficiality;
those are the ones that are works of art.

Friends, you and me,
You brought another friend,
and then there were three.
We started a group,
our circle-
circle of friends.
And like that circle,
There is no beginning and no end.

Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift,
that is why we call it the present.

Lesson learnt : Cherish your friends.They might be the only thing worthy of remembrance in our less than pathetic lives.

2009-02-25T07:46:00.002+08:00

Man...
Life has become such a routine these days!
Well, ok. not that it hasn't been last time.
But yeah, you roughly get what i mean don't ya?

Just like robots maybe?
I wake up, take awhile to fully wake up.
then i gotta go straight to work.
Do housework in the afternoon.
then it's books and books straightaway till midnight.
Except stopping for meals and toilet breaks and snacks blah...

Seriously, this is getting quite crazy.
:(

I admit i was pretty off the past few days.
I may look fine on the outside really.
But inside there's this fear...
I know i shldn't be thinking so much about it.
It's like everybody is going through the same process as me.
And that whether being sad and miserable
or happy and looking things with an open mind,
the exams will still come.
In a week's time.
That's all i have left.
That's all everyone has left.

So what then will become of it?

I'm just sitting at my desk facing my books and notes and paper all day long.
And after every meal I just rush back up, head back buried into my notes.
And what.....?
at the end of the day i still feel frustrated.
Cos i can't seem to get things done smoothly without constant reference back to my notes.

It's not easy being a student...
Tht's what i've realized.
And the life of the child evolved such that he/she has no childhood whatsoever.
From the day he/she starts secondary school.

2009-02-23T22:16:00.003+08:00

Of silver linings in clouds, is that what life is all about

Its perpetually impossible to keep up with optimism, for the very fact that it kills you, just knowing you have to rely on it to make yourself feel that teeny wince better(which is, unfortunately, often short lived). Optimism really, merely sets the stage for greater disappointment and that in a sense, makes pessimism a terribly better choice when it comes down to options for perception. I'd like to think that a happy person is often self deceived, because there is, with all due respect, little or no happiness to speak of, but purely 'ideas' of happiness based on personal definitions.

Then again, on a more enigmatic note, what in the steaming world is happiness?

Studies, my love,

oh yes im coming for you.

and note,

Its a little more than just the sky im aiming for;

if you realise, for the sky isn't any brighter than cold, hard floor.

2009-02-16T22:27:00.003+08:00

went for acupuncture today.
it's pain pain & more pain.
but it's still worth it.
cos my long term pain is almost gone (:
no. still abit pain.

2009-02-15T19:20:00.006+08:00

brought claire,vicki & tintin out today.

i put claire in my bag first then went into ikea to buy racks.

after that we brought them to pasir ris pet farm.

we taught vicki how to swim (:

initially, she looks as though she's drowning.

after that she can swim abit just not that stable yet.

she realli enjoyed herself cos she made alot of frens.

there's tis angmoh couple..

they keep 3 cocker spaniels of three different colours.

it's so damn cuteee!!!!

2009-02-14T22:42:00.004+08:00

meet yy at bugis today to get tintin/jumbo back.
sadded ! y yy can't keep the dog?? it'll be so gud if she can!

went out with darling to celebrate v'day !!
dine in at fish & co then went to starbucks to get coffee.
and we had a long long chat after that.
i always like long chats with him;
cos we'll re-evaluate our relationship
and make sure everything's alright
otherwise we'll both change for the better.
cos nobody's perfect,we'll also have our own BGR problem
but as long as we correct it on time and dun repeat it again,
i believe we'll definitely last forever (:
we'll also chat bout our future;
which i've been anticipating it all this while !
i'll feel reassured after that.

It’s everything you do I’ll never forget
It’s the way you kiss me so passionate
It’s the way you hold my hand so tight
And the I love you’s, I hear each night.

It’s the beauty I see in your angel eyes
Your hugs that comfort me when I cry
It’s how you always fulfill my dreams
And it’s the way you have rescued me.

It’s your love, that’s my hearts destiny
Your everything love is destined to be
Your simply everything in love I need
It’s only you, I’ll forever love tenderly.

i'll always love you,
i promise.

2009-02-13T02:33:00.003+08:00

i always can't bring myself to hate someone.
i dunno why.
is it a good or bad thing?
i didn't know why i still talked to the two of them,
even though i kept reminding myself not to.
*sighs*

celebrated jonia's b'day,
it was all fun & high.
i hope jonia is happy (:
tht's wad is important.

2009-02-11T07:02:00.004+08:00

i dunno wad i want;
so don't ask me,
cos i'm still trying to figure it out..

hmm..
lost to chelsea in the cup game 3-0 ):
i wanted to win him so much !
it must have been the tactics problem,
cos darling said my player is better than his
otherwise it should be bcos others loaned him players.
they just wanted me to lose so much.
oh wells,
i won him in the previous season,
so we're like kinda quits.
we shall see in the next season.

2009-02-07T14:38:00.002+08:00

HR presentation's done.
can strike of one more item in my to-do list.
brought clairebaby out last night to gary's house;
in the beautiful red halterneck dress i bought for vicki last time.
we watched "sex and the city" in class today xD
even after class when meifang and i took cab home,
we watched it on the cab as well.
a movie worth watching.
it's deliciously entertaining.
going my god-grandma's house now (:
it's gambling time!
off to win some money.
be back soon!!!!

2009-02-05T21:08:00.003+08:00

i almost fell asleep during FA class.
but i survived! cos of michael's oreo and mentos!
the 6th week of 2009 is coming to an end;
it's been a super duper busy week for a softworking person like me ):
projects piling,revisions,visitings,darling & clairebaby.
but i'll never mind darling or clairebaby taking up my time.

watched love matters with darling already.
abit disappointed with the movie lehhs..
yesterday night had a good talk with darling.
i always like this kinda heart-to-heart talk.
i'll listen to his problems he'll listen to mine.
we can figure out solutions to all issues most of the time.
even if we can't we dun blame anyone either.
i feel that communication is really impt in a relationship.
v'day i bought briefs for darling xD
not my idea. uncle gary's inspiration.
going uncle gary's place for visiting tmr.

since the day i returned from labuan,
my cough hasn't stop;
and my backache is like forever.
help ! i'm aging.

everything is going so fast
sometimes really feel like slowing down the pace.
i dun even know what i want in life.
don't even know what course to choose for my degree.
*sighs*
going complete HR project now & figure out how to save in the disc (:

2009-02-02T15:15:00.002+08:00

went to a tekong seafood restaurant to cele CNY with godgrandma & pa on sat. food there is not ex & super delicious (: total only 200+ dad foot the bill :p

my baby is growing up healthily. been clearing all the shit for not onli claire but my sister's pups as well. serene still got clean abit. sarah totally nvr. since they wanna sell their pups already. i hope they'll sell it asap :p if it's only claire alone,i'll definitely be able to cope.

2009-01-29T09:53:00.003+08:00

*sighs* back to the hectic life in singapore.
down with fever ! argh !
too much heaty stuff during the festive season.
projects were done thanks to my frens.
i'll do the 2nd assignment to be fair (:
lots to catch up cos i missed lessons for one week.
baby claire is 2 months 7 days old already!
went to collect her back from yi ting last night.
thanks to yi ting & family for taking care of vicki & the puppies so well!
they grow so fast ! still as cute as ever xD
gonna bring her for injection, insert microchip and apply license soon.
anyone wants to buy male schnauzer do let me know.
price negotiable. beige & black (:
helping my sisters to sell.

2009-01-28T10:53:00.009+08:00

A picture paints a thousand words (:
these photos explain how much fun i had in labuan !

my two "lion" nieces sammi & sashel following the big lion (: kawaii !

gege tommy so romantic (: put saosao's name on the boat
sunrise (: taken on the plane.

baby keith & me

adeline & me

at singapore airport (:

tis guy is born exactly the same day as me 30/03/90. damn cool right ! and he's my nephew :p

my childhood playmate

dearest grandma

family portrait

shanell & me

cousins unite (:

melinda & me

madelyn & me

michelle & me

mom & dad with the purple lion

at 2nd ah yi's house

malanie & me

addison & me

look at their delighted faces after i give them manicure services (:

me wiping off keith's saliva

dead shark

addison playing the "fly high high" thingy

sammi & yee shyuan

dad & mom's wedding invitation card. sao sao say there's even a box of love letters tht mom & dad send to each other last time. so sweet (:

2009-01-16T13:35:00.003+08:00

met up with an accident today.
just a small one near bendemeer road.
i was on bus 67 with several passengers.
one Kia Carens suddenly swerve in from our right side;
trying to make a quick turn on the left.
i was sitting just behind the driver so i witnessed everything
sorta knew it was coming.
it was impossible for the bus to come to a sudden halt
cos the distance was too close.
the driver did try to break but it was too late.
many passengers were furious cos some of them injure themselves.
an old lady even stood up and scolded the reckless driver.
she even say she's willing to be the witness for the bus driver.
cos i knew it was coming, i shield my head using my arms (:
when the two vehicles clashed, the car actually skidded to the front.

2009-01-15T14:32:00.003+08:00

went for the stewardess interview on tues ):
it's like all the pretty girls segregate there.
first thot on my mind was "die! sure can't get through on"
but i managed to get into the 2nd round.
each round there'll be 10 ppl a group
they'll interview all 10 together and eliminate bout 7 to 8.
first round was just an introduction of yourself..
& why u wanna join SIA.
i managed to pass it.
2nd round was to test ur reaction.
they'll ask u questions such as;
if u have to take out one of ur senses which one wuld it be?
how does tourism affect SIA?
they expect u to give em answers in split seconds..
and i'm such a slowpoke ! so i didn't get through ):
but still, i'm not gonna give up !
i'll keep trying until i get through.
many ppl there also tried many times alrdy.
i'm quite happy that i manage to get through the 2nd round (:
cos it was my first time & i was the only one wearing shirt & jeans.
others put on make up, do their hair & wore office wear.
I LOOK SO STUPID !!

yesterday went to watch redcliff2 with darling (:
we sneaked food into the cinema :p
cos it's a 2 and a half hour movie,
so i thot more food to munch along the way wuld be better.
as usual, i can't live w/o food. esp good food.
nuggets & sotong from old chang kee.
mega spicy set meal.
tis still not enuf.
we bought nachos combo as well.
cos i love the nachos at century square.

went shopping after the interview.
bought pierre cardin lingerie set,
a hot pink dress, black glittery pumps,
nail art stickers, cap from valarie,
shades from charles & keith,
bought presents for my lovely cousins as well (:

2009-01-11T09:44:00.003+08:00

i really hope i'll get well before tues.
i wanna be on my top form.
cos i'm going for the stewardess interview.
most likely darls going with me.
hopefully i'll get through.
there will be so many people going for it too.
if i do get through, i must be very lucky (:

my backbone is still painful as usual.
i kept sneezing and once i sneeze,
my backbone will pain.
it's like a somatic sensation of acute discomfort
wanted to go for acupuncture for my backbone yesterday.
but mummy told me the doctor say she can't do it for me cos i'm sick.
must wait till i recover ): i thought doctors are suppose to cure patients?
still, i'm having feelings of aversion & unwillingness.
cos i'm very frightened of pain.

2009-01-10T13:49:00.004+08:00

it's better being happy than sad.
the day before yesterday talked to darling on the phone.
kip crying and crying then got sore throat and flu.
today fever & headache :'( i went to school in the morning then left halfway.
thanks to my dearies who constantly shower me with their tender loving care (:
they told me to go see doctor, drink more water and stuffs like tht.
and yes, i'm gonna visit the doc with my mum later in the afternoon,
when my dad is back. now gonna go take a nap and rest my mind.

darls told me not to quarrel,
i'll always be at the losing end
cos i'm realli bad at it.

suppose to go out with sharmaine & wenmin today.
but i'm sick ): next week i suppose.

2009-01-09T14:57:00.012+08:00

baby claire is on my bed now while i'm using the com.

havta keep turning back to keep a lookout.

in case she fall off the bed.

today's HR lesson only i attended

i did the tutorial myself *sobs*

cos all the babes nvr come.

but edmund & those guys from en tian's grp got help abit (:

S'okay, I like my group and it'll stay that way.

Hate me, I'll still be lovin' it.

It's just too bad for you. Hahaha.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Project & assignments due dates.

17th Jan - HR Individual assignment

20th Jan - Marketing Individual assignment

29th Jan - Managerial accountings assignment 1

-Financial accountings Assignment

7th Feb - HR assignment presentation today (:

10th Feb - Marketing group project

- Financial accountings assignment 21

6th Feb - HR group project

11th Feb - Managerial accountings assignment 2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Wondering why you're acting this way.

Wondering why.. we can't find any words to say?

'I thought we were friends;

friendships lasts forever, don't they?

oh wait

-imreminded; nothing lasts forever..

I'm still confused, all these coming way too fast.

I thought I was strong, so did many (may be including you),

but I guess I was very wrong.

You know how awful it feels,

to be constantly waiting for an apology,

but it never came.

Do you not care anymore? I wonder.

I sigh. Yet again.

When will this end? I ask.

May be tomorrow.

The following day.

Or the next.

It may hurt,

but I remind myself of the three strong words:

hope, faith and love.

I have 'em all.

afterall, nothing lasts forever.

i'm not gonna corrupt my blog with unhappy stuffs.

2009-01-07T14:18:00.006+08:00

okay fine serene.
i'm really sorry to ps ppl.
i shouldn't order then change my phone no w/o telling ppl.
i will never do that again kays.
i promise (:
felt less sinful after the confession.
okay.managerial accts teacher is boring !
he took one hour taking attendance,
telling us bout what he'll cover,
and the project guidelines.
strange as it is,
i still jotted down what he taught
maybe cos i was too bored.
syaz & edmund kinda gave me the look
like thinking "wad the hell is shirley jotting down?"
bought a new phone (:
going down to jurong east to repair my camera!
my one month old camera screen crack =X
*heartpain*
havta buy a card to send to my adorable 7 year old cousin adeline.
she sent me a card from m'sia
so sweet of her (:
maybe i'll get her something when i go back to m'sia for CNY.

2009-01-06T14:16:00.006+08:00

tammy's so adorable (:

classphoto xD i look so stupid.

cos there's a rule that all girls' hair can't touch collar.

bbq gathering at ernest's house was fun (:

very fun indeed.

i realli enjoyed myself.

back to school (:
my marketing lecturer looks like xu chun mei!
i didn't notice till randell mentioned it.
was damn farni.

sharmaine just got back from australia for holis here!

staying till feb;

will be goin out shopping together this weekends most probably.

i still rmb those times when both of us together with huimin and serene keep going to chew long's place to slack first before going back for enrichment or supplementary class.

eating cup noodles and snacks from the "mamashop"

those were good old memories (:

2009-01-01T09:49:00.006+08:00

Happy New Year (:
any new year resolutions?
i guess not.
i never accomplish a single one i came out with last year.

okays.
primary school gathering was fun!
i was the organiser i did not expect so many wuld turn up actually.
we went mind cafe at noon, swensens for dinner then 85 market.
i ordered sambal fish at swensens
it cost me $17 and the serving was so small!
we should have heed serene's advice and go cafe cartel instead.
we all went 85 market for more food
i ordered ba chor mee. simply delicious.
tht explains why the queue is nvr ending.
the boys were so nice to queue for us;
all we had to do was just to wait for the food to come xD
will upload photos when ernest upload on facebook.
next class outing at ernest's condo. BBQ!

ohya ! suppose to have BBQ countdown party with neighbourhood frens.
unfortunately, we had to cancel it off
cos they were so not cooperative and it was also kinda last minute.
oh wells,
in the end i celebrated my new year's eve with darling (:
went to denki sushi for dinner.
watched australia.
we realli had a heart to heart talk last night.
somehow i came to realisation why i fell in love with him in the first place.

my back is still aching ! argh!
gonna try acupuncture soon
my toe is fractured ):
it's painful but i'm sorta use to soccer injuries alrdy
no way am i goin to see the tui na doctor.
he looks very sadist.

2008-12-28T23:46:00.006+08:00

abit tired of blogging alrdy.
it's been exactly 1 year since i started.

okays.
went to buy christmas gifts with joanna;
we always hav lots to talk about whenever we meet.
christmas celebrated with my family at home in the afternoon.
went out with darling for dinner & karaoke till midnight.
it was so much fun (: strolled at bedok reservoir park after that.
babies are growing up healthily. great sense of achievement.
6/4 class gathering tmr ! gonna hv 2 gatherings.
1 tmr the other on 4th jan. tmr's one is for jianxiang's b'day :)
many wuld turn up tis tym round cos after Alvls most shld be free.
i sorta regretted nt goin jc ): doesn't matter anymore!
there's no turning back tis path tht i've chosen.
now all my heart goes to being a teacher/airstewardess.
marrying darling. try to help him achieve his dream of being a pilot.
be a gud daughter,wife,mother & friend (:

2008-12-19T14:29:00.001+08:00

okay, so i havent been updating. well you cant really blame me, you need inspiration for this kinda things, y'knw.

went to buy a baby pram for my baby claire with darling. cost me bout $150 but darling paid half for me (: i've gotta bring 2dogs out at one go therefore i think a pram is more practical than having to carry 2 carriers.
after tht we went wild wild wet at downtown east then to the BBQ chicken restaurant for dinner.
badminton yesterday.

diet totally failed.
KFC + Mac breakfast + BBQ chix platter = fat & ugly shirley .
how bout tht?

2008-12-14T12:32:00.002+08:00

vicki's such a gud mommy

claire 3 weeks old

three little pups

claire sleeping on my stomach

claire playing with the keyboard (:

2008-12-13T21:20:00.002+08:00

i'm currently on a diet plan.
aim to be 50 kg by CNY
nothing is impossible if you just believe (:

today dear dear came my house;
played some card games,
played with our grandchildren :p
went swimming after that with serene.
swam 1km!
seriously was panting like a dog after tht :p

planning to go eighteen chefs with darling on xmas !
somewhere not so crowded yet food is nice.
somewhere we can have a peaceful christmas (:

2008-12-12T12:32:00.000+08:00

being good looking isn't everything; being mine now tht's important (: smile baby!

2008-12-11T12:09:00.003+08:00

this post is none of inspiration nor motivation;
just a mere case of fatigue, frustration
and the unfortunate lack of a listening ear.

My life,
has been going downhill.
My job, exams, friendships(only a certain group)..
to be entirely honest it'll take superman to cope.
And i sure ain't no superman.
why couples in relationship are often outcast by others?
why isn't the friendship same as before?
why is it friends that we both know are doing this to us?
why frens whom only i know or he know don't treat us like this?
why they're able to wish us happiness unlike those whom we both know?
some are understanding enough, i appreciate that.
some are just totally ignorant,irritating,idiotic; enough said.
oh no, i think im being really really critical;bitchy;evil; and the likes. heck.
yayness,
im officially going insane and i have ABSOLUTELY no idea why.
damnation.
Perhaps I'd prefer to have this honourable gift of thought taken from me-
this inquisitive nature to question;
to find a reason for everything.
Perhaps sometimes things just are.
Perhaps sometimes it's okay to follow;
to conform; to not stand out.
Perhaps it's fortunate not to be that one in a million
(that everyone aims to achieve).
Perhaps heroes have it hard
(and never recognised only till after their deaths).
Perhaps regrets are excuses.
Perhaps prevention isn't better than cure.
Perhaps it's not death that scares us,
but the life after (or the lack of).
Perhaps to get more,
we should expect less.
Perhaps all it takes to do more 'Right's,
is just to do less 'Wrong's.

2008-12-07T22:06:00.003+08:00

Nights like these

drive you crazy;

when even starless skies

mocks

reeking of solitude

and runs away with the moon

i miss him i miss him i miss him!

trying to act sensual

i decided to wear his shirt and go to bed!

the shirt that he left at my house the other day.

04 12 2008 is the day i actually hit him.

i must be outta my mind.

i swear i didn't mean it.

or maybe i did but was juz outta control.

and in the end it was just a misunderstanding.

he was juz trying to show his concern;

and i thot was somethin else.

i'm so evil.

he didn't even scolded me or anything.

i would rather he did.

he even consoled me,

and said it wasn't painful at all!

when there's obvious handprints on his arms.

i think i've got depression ):

this post is to remind me nvr to hit him ever again.

2008-12-03T00:59:00.001+08:00

few days didn't update alrdy. i'll start from what happened on monday. went airport study with darling; as usual didn't reali study much cos i'm very distracted by him. yesterday's evening we brought vicki to bedok reservoir park walk walk n had picnic over there (: sad thing is there's rain;we hid in a shelter. it was so cold cos i was wearing a sleeveless shirt and a shorts tht's so short. but when his arms were around my body the cold no longer exist. afterwhich when the rain wasn't tht heavy,i carried vicki n rode the bike down the hill quickly juz in case the rain comes back again and he ran after me. it was a mistake to choose our picnic "space" up on a hill. today we went IKEA and were discussing how our future home would look like (: felt so blissful. we had our lunch there too. at night went tian tian huo guo cele deric's b'day;it was fun! 10 of us went and we played many games and the forfeit was to eat wad's left on the table that we can't finish.been spending lotsa time with darling these few days when he got back from aus cos it's holiday ! and he's leaving for shanghai on sat ): one week w/o him again.

claire opened her eyes ! then followed by princeton. tintin not yet. so farni, the eldest is the last to open his eyes.

2008-12-01T22:37:00.000+08:00

I really oughta sleep early today since there's stats exam tomorrow.
Bleargh, and I realise I haven't updated since forever,
but yeah.
I needed to post this convo I had.
('t will only make sense to Naruto fans though.)
"D'you know what Sasuke likes to eat?"
"Uh, ramen?"
"No."
"Spaghetti?"
"NO."
"Itachi?"
"O_O Wtf?"

2008-11-26T14:48:00.002+08:00

it's so heartwrenching to see the puppies squealing in pain.
i wish i could do something to make them feel better.

2008-11-22T22:48:00.004+08:00

so cute right !

my grandchildren alas !

serene is gonna take one of the male

and sarah's taking the other male.

i'm taking the female (:

still thinking of a name for her.

hmm.. claire? kiko? idunno. still thinking

sarah called me while i was working

i thot it wun be anything serious

until serene n daddy both started calling me as well.

i took leave from my boss n rushed home.

daddy came to fetch me.

when i reached home the first one (sarah's) alrdy came out.

the super black one.

it took an hour later b4 mine came out

cos she's surprising larger in size.

and soon after, serene's one came.

the youngest also the smallest in size

2008-11-21T22:58:00.002+08:00

went pasir ris farm with serene vicki n darls.

it was very fun n hilarious

darling was handling some mad dog tht came outta no where.

it kip on wanting to pounce on vicki

such a bad doggy !

ling used all sorta methods to protect us,

n the way he did it was so farni tht we laughed non-stop.

sighs having backaches all the time ):

2008-11-20T09:18:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm done with accountings!
May it be the first and last time I ever have to do this.
Study break was pretty good for me
cos I finally gained some kind of momentum.
Some, anyway.
Still, things I'd tried really hard to forget
still caught up with me during that time.
But if I can't control all that,
then I can only control what I do
and try to get myself out of this place
so I won't have to face it.

2008-11-18T10:27:00.008+08:00

kangaroo the keeper (:

my darls have talent in photography

adorable

darl's brothers and cousin (zann) b4 he left.

b4 he left we took on the bus.

darling's finally back from aus!

and sarah juz left for hong kong.

mummy and jordan now in miri

and daddy is leaving for brunei on sunday.

onli left serene n i at home

and no one to assist me when vicki darling gives birth.

yy says she might be coming (:

these are the nicest among all pictures darling took there :p

when we met at the airport i almost could not recognise him

cos he was wearing jeans n the long sleeve shirt he bought at topshop

omg. so handsome (:

unlike wad he normally wears, he doesn't care bout his appearance AT ALL !

he bought nougats for my family

a shirt and my fav chocos for me.

longsleeve ! grr!!

cos he doesn't like me to reveal too much

doesn't mean i have to cover everything.

i'm like gaining so much weight !

last week b4 darling went to aus.

i went shopping with him for two days.

on the 1st day we ate chicken rice,

still nt full so we ordered mee soto.

on e 2nd day before we went vivo,

we ordered mcdelivery at our voiddeck.

ate 2 mega mcspicy setmeals (upsized)

corn cup, apple dippers,ice cream & 9pcs nuggets a la carte

on the day he's departing,

we went TM's seoul garden.

yesterday waited for him at the airport's mac.

i studied there for bout 8 hours.

ordered mcwings meal (upsized)

6pcs nuggets a la carte & a cornetto icecream.

and i've nt been exercising for the past 1 week plus alrdy

was busy working over the weekends

so tired. i'll quit after finding a better job

2008-11-16T08:09:00.003+08:00

i miss you so much. a self inflicted coma.
lyrics this may be. but truth it is, to me.

i would like to keep myself as low profile as possible.
i dun quite like it when people give me too much attention nowadays.
and darling say i'm just like him (:
gotta study for exams ! i'm like kinda screwed.
i've come out with a study schedule.
IF i follow it, i'll cover all the topics n SHOULD BE fine.
tomorrow going airport send sarah off in the morning,
then i'll study there the whole day and fetch darling at night!
wonder how's he now in australia.
been missing him since the moment he left ):

my another darling is pregnant.
day by day, her stomach is like an inflated balloon.
i donno if i wuld freak out anot when she gives birth.
hopefully she wun have too many pups
then she wuldn't suffer so much.

i may seem to be a carefree person
without any worries or problems.
all i can say is i like to hide them and i hide them very well.
maybe it's pride? i dunno.

2008-11-12T09:24:00.000+08:00

education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. apparently there are people out there who doesnt understand.

2008-11-09T13:20:00.002+08:00

went to darling's house last night.

played with jia ern n jia jun

jia ern is so cute

he loves everyone!

like he's a saint.

jia jun start taking photos of us.

i realli gonna miss everyone here,

moving here gives me a whole new experience.

my life wasn't as routine n boring as b4.

i did things which are more fun n crazy.

now tht i havta say goodbye,

i realli dun bear to leave.

2008-11-08T11:54:00.004+08:00

finally moving hse
but we're renting a house first b4 we buy our own nice house.

cos rental is god damn high we're renting a 3rm flat !
can u believe it !? the rental is even higher than my previous hse monthly payment.
it's like from heaven to hell ! wth !?

heaven got 4 rooms hell is onli half of it.
heaven got dining area hell can onli eat in the kitchen.
heaven got balcony for my daughter to live in hell no place for her!
i dunno how vicki will be delivering her babies!
heaven got nice floor tiles hell onli have cement.
heaven got nice kitchen hell got nothing in the kitchen.
heaven got nice toilet glass doors and basin hell still have to squat.
heaven got stairs hell got none.

and sad to accept the fact tht i'm moving to hell ): *sobs*
hopefully we'll find a place we like alot n faster move out.

i'm so restless recently.
i'm so lucky i've got you.
you're so understanding.

2008-10-31T10:52:00.000+08:00

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
The things i do- some, cant comprehend.
Theories i derive- some, cant understand.
Giving it my all, all for a friend.
and for the mere lock and key theory;
fitting in- I pretend.
I always thought I was different,
somehow; different from the rest.
Or maybe, I'm just too ordinary- amidst these exceptionals.

2008-10-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

sing a sad song.
out of all the words in the dictionary,
the saddest are these: it might have been.

2008-10-18T13:27:00.000+08:00

pictures taken recently

2008-10-14T13:46:00.000+08:00

here's a poem by e.e cummings.
interesting poet.
i carry your heart with me,i carry it in my heart.
i am never without it.
anywhere i go you go,my dear;
and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling
i fear no fate,for you are my fate, my sweet.
i want no world,for beautiful you are my world, my true.
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant,
and whatever a sun will always sing is you.
here is the deepest secret nobody knows;
here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.
i carry your heart,i carry it in my heart.

2008-10-09T19:15:00.000+08:00

love is a hug on a difficult day.
thank you. enough said.

2008-10-08T22:44:00.003+08:00

if your face isn't like this,
OR this,
you should be contented.
really. (;

dont take things for granted. (;
i've given it some serious thought. here's my conclusion.

2008-10-08T21:59:00.003+08:00

i'm still very much in the holiday mood.
projects date dues are nearing,
i shan't be a burden to my grp members !